The process of grief can take a long time....... for many, it lasts a lifetime. Flashes of images and memories can bring a smile, or a tear, or the combination of both. Not only do I walk through my own, but I lead my children through...... to be winners rather than suffer the pain of a lifetime of loss.
There is always the concern that we will not make it..... that we would stop moving. Any one of the stages can overtake the healing process, hindering recovery. An aimlessness can set in at any moment; I can feel overwhelmed.... wondering what direction I should go. What path should I take.
In many ways, I am a pioneer; I am finding my own way, navigating uncharted lands, unknown places, and taking territories I have never been to before. I have not had the benefit of having a guide directing me, telling me how to feel, how to behave...... no one knows how to respond but one thing I know.... hope springs eternal. There is always a promise.
The beauty that comes from grief is profound....... art, poems, songs, and writings are pouring forth. I can feel resistant to learning new ways and concepts because I am stretched thin, but the more I stretch, the more my mind expands...... and my heart enlarges. My spirit is exhilarated. My soul engaged.
As I write, my focus is intentionally universal.... the realities of loss, of any kind.... and the possibilities that come out of it... as we overcome.
"Deep calls unto deep....all your waves and breakers wash over me." (Psalm of David)