When losing someone, the phrase "laid to rest" is often said as part of the tradition, terminology and language used to bring about closure. Ironically, just the opposite happens.........
The farewell process does anything but that. If anything, seeking "closure" brings about more questions...........
Without some kind of solid foundation to stand upon, or firm footing to handle the hardship, you will be hard pressed to process it all and you will lose direction, easily.
An unsettling fog rolled into Redondo Beach tonight, wrapping up a bit of a rough, hot weekend. We'll be moving into the first full week of October, and I'll continue walking towards my future and what brought me here. I will need more courage.............
Because of the transitory move made and my discoveries of real life here, I feel a sense of numbness......... it's as if I have emotions but I'm not "feeling" anything. I'm feeling the impact of the culture, climate, and the careless nature of SoCal; what is acceptable here, is not acceptable.
My mentality has had to shift, much as the earth shifts under our feet on a regular basis. It's as if the "earth is speaking........" So many are concerned with the climate, cruelty to animals, killing or not killing a bug, paper vs. plastic, but are completely careless with humanity. The "core" is what is wasting away..........
When there is indifference in life, there is a lack of passion, for anything. Everything becomes the same, much like the "seasons." You can only try to guess what time it is in life, if not tuned into the true Divine Authority, the Creator.
For our family, nothing was laid to rest; a whole new life seemed to begin.... and we've only just begun....... God help me.
"It was an impossible battle which is why I had to fight it. Survival isn't enough; you have to live." Once Upon A Time