My main goal, even immediately following my husband's shocking death, was to focus on my kids and their future. I needed to remind them and myself that a future still remained, in spite of losing the one we loved.

After intensive transitions and painful processes of starting over, I think I'm finally coming to the end of my laborious work. Handling business, insurance changes, paperwork and tons of other items have kept me very preoccupied and pressured. Nothing or no one could have prepared me for this.

Because I've acted in accordance with that belief, it is now time to live in the present and definitely the season for me to write. My current situation is finally making this possible:) I'm finding a new found freedom and feel a refreshing coming.......

Sometimes it's very hard to know who to trust as I've had to go it on my own in many respects ........ but thankfully, I have found great support from a few new friends here. Because of our boys, VB, and timing, paths are crossing and friendships are being forged.

Whenever there is a new level to reach or a higher goal to grasp, there is always a mental challenge to overcome, as much as the physical. Am I good enough, strong enough or sharp enough..... do I have what it takes to make it are all questions that demand an answer. You must believe in yourself before others will believe in you......

Tonight was a great game for Redondo Union with Logan seeing playing time on defense with the Varsity team. He and I have had some very meaningful talks in recent weeks, again showing me the young man he is fast becoming. Chynna will be traveling with her club team for play this weekend, while Austin and I continue to establish residency here.

A new friend has encouraged me to get back into the game myself which makes me laugh. Maybe I could somehow find time to do something for me..... a novel idea, one that's been out of reach for so long.

Guess I will keep dreaming.......... Goodnight.