There are a lot of things to realize on a road to recovery and there are lessons learned with each step I seem to take. I hope by sharing my mistakes, mishaps, moments, and meaningful experiences you will find your own way...........

In believing we are a light knit family, I underestimated a few things. Even the strongest, tightest, and best of families can be torn apart. I felt this immediately following the loss, and again, as I continue to try to build my "own life."
Indescribable bonds were made during loss and recovery.

With thoughts of the kids leaving home, two for sure this year, most people think it's my time. And that somehow, as young adults, they are moving on and into their own lives, and need a parent much less.
In the instance of widowhood, this is not the case..........

I know I am not alone in this.

No matter how much I do, have done, or continue to take on, it will never be enough. There are always demands on a single parent or one in my situation. The list is endless.
There is nothing and no one that can suffice the fact that a parent is gone from the picture, in an instant. And the one left behind has to pick up the pieces, ALL OF THEM, ALWAYS..........

Unlike having two parents, co-parenting, as it is meant to be, my role of a mother never ends. It does not change or shift, as some say happen at this time in life; because the shift that's taken place has propelled us to a place very few exist in.

You don't know unless you have been here. Uncharted territory.

Of course the kids are grown and do not need help with elementary and basic needs, but they do need knowledge. Understanding. Care and concern. Expressed interest, enthusiasm, and my intentions made clear. Money. Guidance. All of which can be lacking because I am doing this thing on my own.

This is not a "woe is me" mantra, but rather a kick in your pants, to appreciate your life and who or what you have in it.

If it is not all you or God intended it to be, for heaven's sake, do something about it.
I know I plan to.