At the beginning of the summer 2014, my daughter stated that in this next season we would begin "to see the realization of all our dreams." Even though a big, bold statement made as a declaration, I believed it to be true......... and I was speechless.

No one can prepare you for sacrifice, whether you're creating a business, starting a family, moving cross country, training for an athletic event.... or losing a loved one. Unless immersed in the purpose, you will likely miss the meaning. You must prepare to be aware or all is done in vain.......

As I reflect on the last 7 years of my life, I knew I was in "training;" for what, I did not know exactly. An unplanned pregnancy, a horrible miscarriage which led into depression; one business began, while another ended, and many more changes undergone in this period of time. I wondered how I would live through it, let alone make it.

The one thing I kept in my mind and heart was the belief that this was not in vain. I knew beauty would come from pain and I would ultimately gain. The irony of loss... and redemption. When I actually adopted this understanding, my whole life was impacted...... and so was the life of my kids........

Those dreams coming to life I've held dear for many years may not be the plans I have laid out. More than likely, "as above, so below" and we will embrace and adopt a greater purpose for our lives; a platform for the taking. I know there is so much more to come than we could even think or imagine awaiting...........

As we quickly approach November 4, I feel as if our 3 year "season of sacrifice" will lead us "home".........

"The Sweetest Thing." U2

Imagine a town where any which way you turn, trust cannot be found.......a place where everyone seems to have an angle....... this is not fiction but reality found. Even my business savvy, wise and well traveled friend John has never encountered anything like this.......

Keeping innocence during daily life and difficulties should show strength of character and the depth of hope in a person. I am determined to retain ours, even on days when a few tears are shed, not in mourning, but because of what is missing here....... if they only knew.............

I am in for a few important transitions as I plot our course for the next few months. The first year+ here, was all on me...... now, it seems, I may receive some "aid." I continue to let myself be stretched and impressed by my friend John's, willingness to stretch with me:) Sharing vision for the future.......

I became accustomed in less than 3 years since his passing to feeling like I have to do "everything" myself. It happened suddenly but has felt like forever. In marriage, I became cautious of letting myself count on my late husband because of all the demands on his time..... and I'd be left disappointed.

Now, I proceed more cautiously in some ways, and am slowly allowing John to "help" me. He is far more wonderful than I could ask for, and I am learning to adapt, accept and trust, without the fear of loss in my heart.......

If my innocence is tainted, my whole perspective can be colored. My life story can take a different course. History will be altered for myself and my children. When skepticism enters, perception becomes skewed. I honest to God have fought to maintain purity of heart.....in order "to see God." (The Sermon on the Mount)

My children and I are on the same page going forward. We know what we have to do............. and expect to see some pretty amazing things:)