This has been a hellish week on many levels but as its said, "what doesn't kill me will make me stronger." I never really took those words to heart; it seemed like a facetious saying to me. But I find I "die daily" as the Apostle Paul said, to pursue the reasons I am on this soil......
Loss has the potential to eat away at one's mental capacity and the ability to comprehend or grasp even the simplest of tasks. I am now in a greater "mental toughness" training, lol. A purpose is served and that purpose feeds a fire for the future.
Based on the week, looks like I may need to give up one PT to gain something better. Keeping my integrity in this land of vanity seems to be my test for 2014. I will pass.
Took the Toyota to the shop tonight after it began making scraping noises:/ This means I'm up early in the a.m. to take my two to Anaheim to ref, since we'll be down to one car and I need to get around. Oh joy.
Because I am forced to change residency, I am now searching for new healthcare coverage as a result. My current company does not do business here:/ PA has been difficult in many ways; CA, a bit more relaxed in certain business aspects.
It seems our loss has facilitated a massive amount of acceleration.... which has been my life for over 28 months now. When one thing seems settled, there's another to follow up on.
Bringing Austin here ahead of schedule has also accelerated our housing needs, causing us to rely on the aid of our friends from Brazil. His plans for community college are coming together, as he and Chynna visited this week and began the process. After a year of residency, we'll look at further options. He loves it here and is happy.
When a child loses a parent, it can cause a child to want to remain a child and not "grow up." Likewise, the opposite can take effect, making one mature quickly. We have honestly struggled with both aspects and I've desperately needed to know the needs of my individually kids.
Because I believe in each and their potential, I have continually pushed, as a woman giving birth.........
I know the pain is with purpose. Goodnight and peace.