Hell's fury to Heaven's glory.

I realized something today that now seems glaringly obvious. I think stagnancy feels like death to me............ and yet it is all around me........ It's like I have developed a sensitivity, aversion and negative reaction to it, almost beyond my control. I actually detest it. We are meant to "move."

I have to be part of a living, breathing community more than ever before. As I sat in a gym Wednesday night, waiting for a girls VB game to end, I had to smile. These 8-10 year olds were having so much fun, passing the volleyball. I miss the smiles, screams, and fun. My heart connected and I felt energized........

Jordan has moved into another place in SF, and Chynna continues to try to make ends meet, renting her room in Redondo Beach. Housing here has opened their eyes. The boys and I are together, thankfully. I have the most time with Logan b/c of travel time, and I cherish the moments......

I believe the separation in the 3 years that we've had, not only from losing their dad but in a sense each other's presence, is meant to bring us to maturity. These experiences have grown us up in ways that being together would not have. In some ways, loss has taken us through hell's fury and hopefully into more of heaven's glory............

After 14 months in SoCal, I finally felt like I had "real" conversation today, from the most unexpected place. As my business colleague discovered my story, and what precipitated our transitory move west, she got quiet. As I opened my heart, she could share hers, telling me how cancer has touched her life just this year....... a rare moment I'm cherishing. It was meaningful. 
My soul finally felt like it was filling up....... and I know I am made to do this.

The "strongholds of duty," whether to family, friends, or coworkers, can keep you from taking the next step and moving on in your own life. Duty will stop you from your destiny because it's easier to stay put......

This week I made a decision to leave my current position at Prudential CA in Hermosa Beach. It was one I wrestled over for weeks, but know it is the right thing, at the right time and season in my life. I have the support I need to step out, taking another leap into what I ultimately want to do..............

Stay tuned in. Love and Hope.