Gardens and Growth.

I officially feel like we are turning a corner here in the east, as lawns have been mowed and work is being done in gardens and beds everywhere. It seems as if we pass through some sort of rite of passage after surviving a harsh "season".......

I can feel that way, wondering when life will let up a bit, after putting time, work and effort into the growth process. But there are several elements that work in combination with each other to produce a glorious "garden;" if the positive isn't in place, nothing good will grow.

In my neighborhood, the lawns are cut, flowerbeds trimmed, and yard work gives many a sense of accomplishment. I've learned finally to let it go...... I can only get done what I get done, and handle what I can handle. My lawn is the longest, LOL, and I can't sweat it. That is progress.

Hearing the younger boys say how much they love being home makes me feel good. It is all a miracle anyway, having held onto everything since the passing. At our house, Austin has been the most helpful, as his job and schedule are somewhat flexible week to week. We tackle things in bits and pieces rather than large chunks these days.

One son admitted to me how tough it is to work on the rentals we have because of the reminders of his dad it brings. That leaves me feeling helpless, knowing we have to step up, but also knowing the conflicting emotions it brings. I have had to learn to shut some of that off.......

In any growing relationship however, positive elements need to be introduced if it is going to nurture both parties. If not, we dry up and die. Option two is we hold on until there can be nourishment, enough given to revive a good relationship.

The long distance was very hard on my personal relationship and we did suffer a bit.......... quite a bit.

With the busyness of life, we often feel with relationships that it's time to let go, and it is done very poorly. This creates bad blood, offenses grow, and grudges are nourished rather than growth between two.

It takes time to grow a good garden.......... and knowing the potential bounty - priceless.

Renew or regret.

Almost 3.5 years into this journey and I choose not to be defined by my circumstances. I continually challenge myself to climb higher, to reach further than I can see, even if the odds seemed stacked against me. I think anyone can adopt this attitude in order to prevail.........

I meet to many people who choose not to challenge themselves; in the east, we seem to value comfort over courage at times. I think this mentality needs to shift........ For too long, I have seen countless others across the country do great things, but why not us......... collectively.

In the challenge, there is new life. I guess I have thrown caution to the wind quite a few times in the last few years, but it is quite indicative of my former married life. We were the exception in many ways...... and I have not given that up. We pushed each other.... and grew. Life is about growth.

I've determined to prove things to myself that most people may not even try to do, or care to do. As I proceed in my 14 hour renewal course for my PA real estate license, i'm reminded of the challenges ahead of me. However, I have to try it... or live with regret. I cannot live with regret. I know what that looks like......

Bettering myself, my kids lives, or my position in life for the sake of the kingdom of God has always been something on my agenda. I want to succeed to help others because I have been tested. I know that in no matter what position I am in, in life, I will give what I have..... it is not dependent on my "economic outlook," but rather my heart for no regrets.

Austin is hoping for a trip back to the LA area this summer, to visit friends he has made there, providing he has the finances. Things never slow down, lol, even though I get weary. Jordan is working on his income taxes as the deadline is fast approaching. He has been my right hand man on the rentals, along with his brothers. We're looking to move ahead in this area by the end of April........

I will have another home opening up, as the last of challenging tenants has left a premises. Timing. Hoping to fill it quickly with good people in order to move forward in my ever expanding career in the land. I will need to choose an avenue for publishing in the next week as well.

Settling some health insurance issues as two of the kids will have their own policies now, as part of their independence. My brain is still on overload, ha ha, but thankful for good people who help guide us in the right directions. Trusted friends on the east coast:)

In Christ alone, my hope is found..... and in good friends and family:)