Transitions.

I've been told that losing my husband when my kids were teenagers and/or young adults is easier than if my kids were young. I am of a differing opinion, having coming through two years of transitions. With teens, they are constant ......

So many crucial decisions are made during these days and they often have to be made on our own. Our lives have changed; the impact is felt daily. No one is here, holding my hand, telling me things will be okay... I just have to make educated choices and believe.......

Today, I spent time getting in place a Sallie Mae Loan for Austin's upcoming start at Elco. I really dislike handling these decisions. Need to get new homeowner's insurance in place as well, for my homes back east. Too many details to follow. I just want someone to tell me what to do.

I find it almost impossible to handle any negativity anymore. Logan feels the same as I, and even more so. This may perhaps be, a result of the trauma or trials we experienced in life, as our reality always remains with us. Or it is quite possible, we find more power in positive thinking....

I would rather think about what I can do, what I should try, or what might be possible, as opposed to feeling like there are no options available. I don't want to look at the worst case scenario. I flee from it. I believe in hope, as an anchor for the soul, and a constant for the future.....

Goodnight.