When you witness something as life changing as I have, on more than one occasion, the images are ingrained in the mind, heart, and soul. Whether it be the stillborn baby held in the hands of my late husband, seeing the shock on the faces of my sons, or the loss of his very life, I will never let myself forget those feelings.........
It is those very emotions that have changed my life and impacted my soul forever......... and continue to keep me grounded while reaching up to the heavens. I know many of you can relate.
During those days of closeness and comforting each other, I never expected to feel that my life would take the turns it has. I have learned so long ago that I am in control of nothing other than surrendering my will to His and my own will to recover. The more I surrender, the more my responses are authentic.........
What has taken 4+ years for me to realize that I am meant to do this....... on my own, with the right support. Coming out of a relationship or companionship, of any length of time, requires a recovery period. While I shrugged off those thoughts, hindsight has given me a fresh perspective of what a very new life presents itself to me, to you, each and every day, if one has eyes to see........ and are not blinded.
Too many times I look for another person or thing to fulfill me, comfort or take care of me, because that was all very familiar to me. I realize it is a creature comfort and part of our human nature; until and unless it has been ripped away, few can even really comprehend the change. Every day, even now, I am amazed....... so many forget, but you never do if you've experience it.
Countless have abandonment issues, have been victimized or traumatized by something or someone in their life over time. Grief and loss take on many forms of behavior, an acting out of these traumatic life events that happen. We see this in the news every day unfortunately. People act out of their own pain and hurt others. It has to stop..... somewhere.
It begins with me. I can only change myself. "Live It Well." (Switchfoot 2016)
"Life is short; I wanna live it well
One life, one story to tell
Life is short; I wanna live it well
And you're the one I'm living for
Awaken all my soul
Every breath that you take is a miracle
Life is short; I wanna live it well"