If a separation from a partner occurs, whether in love, loss, or life, there is an automatic emptiness. The one who occupied the place of existence is no longer present, and there are countless things to walk through.... and work through. Both require motion at a time when it's easiest not to "move."

These few years after losing my partner have flown by and as it turns out, I'm managing far more separated than I did together. I often waited on him for answers, decisions, and actions. It now is all mine to tackle. Knowing who to go to for help, and better yet, getting a good response has allowed me to grow immensely.

Many years ago I joked that I would one day manage a "growing empire," and most days, if feels as if I'm being groomed........

We continue to evaluate my 19 year old's choices for his future, as he's at a crucial age in decision making and debt. As a single mom, I am the co-signer on college loans and so, every decision becomes an important one. It has to be thought out, well planned, and properly executed.
As frustrating as it can be, I remain committed to helping him find his way through and into a prosperous future.

In the next few months, my daughter's student loans are going into repayment which requires us to be ahead of the game yet again. Plans need to be made and budgets taken into consideration. I have spent more time on the Sallie Mae website and consulting a financial friend the last few weeks than in the past few years...... I am forcing myself to understand the whole process..... even though I could shut down my brain.

Tonight Logan and I spoke with a recruiting company in which we can put valuable tools in place for him to be found and considered as a student/athlete. I saw new life in him, hope for the hard work he's put in many years. I am again, committed to his process in every way; I can't afford to be tired................

While I share with you the "realities" regularly faced, I also testify to the goodness of the God I believe in Him. Days when I feel I can't read another paper or answer another email, I somehow find the strength and determination to do so.

The tough times, dry days, and weeks you may spend wondering what "life" is all about...... you should know that if your heart is willing, He will use everything in your present to prepare you for your future....... it is an amazing sight to behold as His glorious plans continue to unfold........

Sweet dreams to all.

Our Sundays are nothing like they were so many years ago, which was based more on routine than relevance. My late husband always wrestled with religion; he found a bit of breakthrough but never enough. We kept pushing him......

As the culture is being transformed, principles don't have to be abandoned. In this new place we're in, compromise always awaits. We remind ourselves regularly of what we are grounded in; if we don't, no one will. I'm taking a few verses from the Book of Hebrews and making them personal tonight:

"I won't throw away my confidence (freedom to speak); it will be richly rewarded. I need to persevere so that when I have done the will of God, I WILL receive what he has promised. No pleasure is taken in the one who shrinks back.
But WE do not belong to those who shrink back (withdraw) and are destroyed....."

There has been quite a bit happening in the last few months that could cause me to pull back and seek cover. But I am challenging my faith to grow even more because I need it too, to get to the next level in my life. This is very real......

The end to Transition Week for USA VB; Logan connected with a new friend from VA on the sand courts. He's moving here in a year and very familiar with East Coast VB:) Everyday there are new connections in Cali; it's fascinating.

Can't wait to see Jordan in SoCal this coming weekend; It's been 5 long months since his last visit.

Our needs are very real; our hopes very high. Perhaps my inability to gauge my emotions are a gift in disguise, so I don't give up......