When one or more you love suffer loss or pain unneedlessly, each expresses it differently. Even if it can be part of their personal growth, it all remains very difficult to deal with. As a mom of a son who witnessed the worst possible thing ever in losing his dad, I have a special place in my heart for him........

Having 3 other kids who shared the pain, as well as help uncover the purpose of loss, have forever been changed and challenged......... Even almost 3 years in, I will continue to do whatever it takes to help each realize their futures do exist. Perhaps a mother's love or the determination of destiny........

One of mine needed to go as far away as possible to escape familial responsibility; another always had a craving to chase after her dreams. One son, a bit more volatile and emotional, is the heart of the family...... and my youngest, well, he has made the most of every opportunity given to him.

I find it important to reevaluate life and decisions regularly because I will always want and do the best possible thing for the kids...... not for myself and not because of peer pressure. We follow a different flow......

I do find myself extra sensitive to dehydration while here in this extra dry climate. It's hard to imagine seriously worrying about a "water shortage" for years and years, if living here permanently. The lifestyle of renting in the South Bay and NorCal lends itself to never feeling settled..........

Austin is fighting off an ear infection for the past week, so it may be time for a doctor visit:/ His new job at The Loft Hawaiian is going well and will need to fit in, following his school schedule on weekdays. After implementing a few new plans, he is coming along well. although it is tricky without his own car:/ We have no plans to make a big purchase here because of countless scammers in SoCal.

Chynna's team won an Indoor Tournament today and she's very excited about going to Nationals in 2015:) I may just have to make a visit there. I wish we would've known then what we know now; she could've gone far in this sport after high school but trusting in a divine order and plan. Now could be her time:)

Sometimes lessons learned can be gleaned in a short amount of time. When the Spirit of God is involved and dreams are revealed, time becomes irrelevant. Age does not matter. Fear is not a big factor. I find what used to take 20 years, can be learned in 2. Crazy stuff........

Setting up plans for the next six months. Exciting days are ahead.

For anyone who knew my late husband, you probably remember him to be filled with boundless energy. He went hard until he dropped, literally, into bed, at night. That was really the only thing that slowed him down. I wondered how he could do it; something had to energize him.

I've pretty much dropped into my bed this week, zapped of energy, not from working "hard", but feeling drained......

Because of the magnitude of our loss, I find myself less tolerant of wasting time, and more conscious of the time I spend on people, places, or things. I know I don't want to feel drained for nothing. I want to feel energized, and this is supposed to be a creative place........

Truth is, the creativity flows when there's LIFE. "In the beginning God 'created'...." He began with something that was empty, and dark, and had no form or shape, but the Spirit hovered over the waters and thus it all began. When there is no 'water", there is no LIFE........

After a full year, we have now experienced every season in SoCal. and there is little that changes here overall. Big surprise to me. With most everything remaining the same, you would never know there is "change" upon the country elsewhere.

Holidays are less festive and easily forgotten without a seasonal change. It's crazy. The atmosphere, environment and surroundings really do create the overall feel of celebration, creation, and declaration or not.

Jordan returns from a corporate gathering held in Las Vegas early in the week. A highlight of the week was a helicopter ride to see the Grand Canyon, hence the picture below:) To say he was treated well is an understatement. He continues to stand out and be recognized as a leader, creator, and designer in his field. I continue to be very impressed........ and grateful.

We all continue to grow here, in His favor, grace, obedience and love. Lord willing, we will create with imagination and abounding energy..... from the life we have been given.

"Salvation spring up from the ground."