Tonight I am so tempted to go on a rant...... it's been that kind of day, week, month..... year actually. I continue to be amazed at what I am seeing, who I am encountering, and the callousness at which life is lived in Cali. I long for goodness.......... and good people.

I will refrain from ranting and raging but It is really, really tough to be positive in a negative environment. It seems the meaning of friendships, love, life and the meaning thereof finds no room in our current climate. To say I am conflicted is putting it mildly............

Toxicity in relationships takes on a variety of forms and I've run the gamut in my lifetime. There is the all out physical abuse that is seen, heard, and felt, and you know you need to get out. Knowing it and doing it requires great courage, support, and strength unimaginable to conquer the fears.

Mental games however, often go unnoticed but is just as powerful if not more, than physical battery. There is a wearing away of stability, a support structure, and most of all, sanity. You completely lose your life. In this land of images and idolatry, the one thing unadvertised is the insanity of it all....

So thankful for John Hayes, who is flying out for a quick visit tonight and staying for a few days:) Logan's looking forward to watching the Eagles game tomorrow with us, providing it's broadcast here:) He's got the Hallmark Channel on daily, playing Christmas movies, with a few candles lit. Anything to feel some "goodness" here.................

Many transitions are in the forecast for us as we remain unsettled.....but not unstable. There is a difference. Jordan is working on updating my blog with a new layout and format. I need to learn how to format my time now, starting my 3rd week of self employment:)

"How long must we wait for it........."