Determination and Drive.

For the past 3 weeks we have been home, there has been at least one school delay weekly. Getting the 5:30 a.m. call is not on my favorite things list; however, Logan's response of "YESSSS!" actually kind of makes it worth it:) He is already pushing me to call for his driver's exam:/

In this first month of the year, even with all the changes, I've jumped right back into living life. I used to think perhaps the 18 month period from May of 2009 to November of 2011, when we literally purchased and renovated 6 homes, was unlike any other time in our lives. Turns out, that was an understatement. We could only do it, because God was in it all.

To the natural eye, we probably looked like we were a bit nuts. Running a remodeling business full time, raising and running around with 4 kids, to maintaining a marriage and household pretty effectively, was not a disadvantage. We were not to feel defeated but elected and determined for our destiny..............

The word alone conjures up all kinds of magical images, fairytale endings, and hopeful happenings. This is all sounds idealistic; "destined for great things...." but it is honestly defined by determination, grit, and "guts over fear." Destiny is built on decisions........

Tomorrow I am making a trip to Quality Roofing to pick up 3 replacement windows for the same said rental home we are working at. I think that's a first for me, and I'm counting on help loading them:) Today I test drove a used vehicle my daughter will be driving when she returns from L.A.

I did the almost unthinkable and left my Ford Escape in Cali with Chynna, while Austin has the Toyota Corolla. I felt I would worry less knowing they were taken care of in this regard. Needless to say, I really like my car:/ I am somehow the one to make the most sacrifices, ha ha. How. Why.

Thanks to my parents for a loaner and always helping out as needed to work through this transition. And my partner John continues to embrace my adventurous side and the ideas I am passionate about. So much more is just around the corner........

Acceleration. Adventures. Options.

Together Time.

It's official - Logan is back at Brandywine, after a two hour delay this morning, lol. It was kinda weird not to have a snow day while in Cali, no sudden change of plans or schedules that need adjusting. I think we learn a bit of flexibility here, and if not, we should:)

He rode to school with Dillon and as they walked in, all eyes were on them. It was a wonderful homecoming and thanks to the personal touch of teachers and friends who really celebrate the return. There are some connections that are not easily broken.................

As I revisited our family doctor, I was also able to express my appreciation to my family doctor who we've known for 20+ years. The personal care and attention I've received over many years and difficult days is not something I found in L.A. You can't fix anything with appearances only......

When incredible personal pain is felt, it is very natural to lash out at loved ones and burn bridges in moments of haste. Whether for self protection, self preservation, or for one's mental health, fractures happen. There may be seasons to separate, or a time to be together; either way, you have to know what actions are healthy and not done hastily. Give it some time.

My family and I are spending "together time", as Logan and I have moved back into our home in Fleetwood with the Godshalls. My house is of adequate size to hold us all for the time being and it's fun for me to be part of the kids' lives:) All things will work together for good.........

Some of us have had to put our "faith into action" which means my faith has to be fluid, moving, and active. I've had to do something with it, not simply sit in stagnancy. This kind of faith contains substance; it is not superficial. There is backing behind it, strength to support it. It is substantial.

My 9 year old niece Miah Godshall is having her third surgery tomorrow on her cleft palate at CHOP. In an effort to show extra kindness to her and her family, I am asking you to consider sending her a card. I would love to see her smile in the midst of her trial. Thanks for considering it:)

Miss Miah Godshall, 47 Deysher Road, Fleetwood, PA 19522.

"In My Place"

Tonight I am so tempted to go on a rant...... it's been that kind of day, week, month..... year actually. I continue to be amazed at what I am seeing, who I am encountering, and the callousness at which life is lived in Cali. I long for goodness.......... and good people.

I will refrain from ranting and raging but It is really, really tough to be positive in a negative environment. It seems the meaning of friendships, love, life and the meaning thereof finds no room in our current climate. To say I am conflicted is putting it mildly............

Toxicity in relationships takes on a variety of forms and I've run the gamut in my lifetime. There is the all out physical abuse that is seen, heard, and felt, and you know you need to get out. Knowing it and doing it requires great courage, support, and strength unimaginable to conquer the fears.

Mental games however, often go unnoticed but is just as powerful if not more, than physical battery. There is a wearing away of stability, a support structure, and most of all, sanity. You completely lose your life. In this land of images and idolatry, the one thing unadvertised is the insanity of it all....

So thankful for John Hayes, who is flying out for a quick visit tonight and staying for a few days:) Logan's looking forward to watching the Eagles game tomorrow with us, providing it's broadcast here:) He's got the Hallmark Channel on daily, playing Christmas movies, with a few candles lit. Anything to feel some "goodness" here.................

Many transitions are in the forecast for us as we remain unsettled.....but not unstable. There is a difference. Jordan is working on updating my blog with a new layout and format. I need to learn how to format my time now, starting my 3rd week of self employment:)

"How long must we wait for it........."

No silence for the soul.

Some days I think I want to give back my perceived "destiny" ...... to God, wondering if He's got the wrong person here. Times too trying, tasks so immense I can hardly fathom how to accomplish them. But then, I find a way to speak life to my own soul..............

I know how I felt when loss hit my heart...... knowing I was changed forever, and I would forever change the world for good. Those memories are burned within my being and imprinted upon the soul, the seat of my emotions.

This first week after leaving the real estate world in Cali, I am getting my own rental affairs in order. I've been running on fumes for several years, and now is the time to refuel. I need my ventures to run as a well oiled machine, for now and what is to come. You see, I have great ambitions....

I am filling the homes I have coming available and again the demand is great back in Pennsylvania. I have some pondering to do. I'm taking the early part of this week to put a plan into action.... and then I will WRITE. This will be my new "job" and I am treating it as such.

I will be heading back to the East Coast this week, for a weekend wedding:) Can't wait to see my family and perhaps friends if I can fit it all in! When you come to California most people think it's a place one will never want to leave........

In the past week, God has been speaking to me about joy, particularly relating to my little niece Ava Joy. The great lyricist David, in Psalms 51:12 says, "restore to me the JOY of your salvation and grant me a willing heart to sustain me." The word restore often implies the need to return that which has been lost.......

David is asking for help...... needing to return to a time of innocence and hope, salvation. He also needed help to remain where he is was meant to be, for as long as he needed to be there, and to find joy in it. I think his message is a universal one, as so many souls feel this condition..........

"There are things we can do, But from the things that work there are only two, And from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win, And fear will lose
There's faith and there's sleep, We need to pick one please because
Faith is to be awake, And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive, And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying, To let you know you need to try to think

I have these thoughts, So often I ought, To replace that slot
With what I once bought, 'Cause somebody stole
My car radio, And now I just sit in silence. " (Car Radio)

My soul cannot be silent. (KC)

Valuing innocence.

Over the course of many years, I have seen and heard many "dreams," some of which are held onto, even when the time of fulfillment has passed. Holding onto a purpose that has passed is like devaluing your destiny........

Tomorrow begins the Indoor VB Club season for Logan and his new team, MB Surf. Yes, there is no break; in SoCal the game continues year round, indoor and outdoor. I'm starting to see how this idea of constant competition between kids in Cali, and I do mean constant, can slowly wear away childhood innocence.......

Insanity is defined as "doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome." The importance of meaningful connections with quality people cannot be overstated and far outweighs the satisfaction of any kind of competition, college, image, or status, in my humble opinion.

Austin is recovering from a nasty stomach bug he's had since Tuesday night and missed a few days of school as a result. He's a typical almost 20 year old, searching for a purpose and plan for his life. For now, he is researching......

There is no shortage of surprises living just outside of L.A. When I picked up a few items at the local Walmart Thursday, I suddenly became surrounded by a number of Japanese tourists, taking pictures and notes as I was flying through the store, LOL:)

Redefining the dreams. Innocence over insanity.