Gain.

Sometimes doing what is necessary for the sake of another has to be one of the toughest things ever undertaken. There's uncertainty in the letting go...... what lies ahead..... and of course, when free will is involved, the greater the risk and impact.................

Perhaps in losing my very personal and protected relationship of 25 years, I was jarred into a new reality.... and remedy for life. I now do not hesitate to embrace the change that needs to happen; I know I am not normal but hopefully helpful:)

As we enter our second school year in Redondo Beach, it's becoming apparent the sacrifices of the first, will prepare for the next. It's already shaping up to be a better year than last for Logan, and it's only the second day. He has learned so much.......... as have I.

I've been told by friends back home I should never play poker..... that's changed:) I know I need to be here to advance in many areas in my life, including business, personal, physical and most of all, mental. When taken out of your comfort zone, accelerated growth can happen, even in your 40's.

After our loss, I went from managing my household for 20+ years, into the workforce, in less than 5 months. Talk about change..... struggle...... and suffering, but I knew the time and opportunity were right. I had to go for it. I was given a position at a Prudential in southeastern PA and my new journey would begin.

There were times when tears were triggered, or emotions expressed in the office; I had so much to figure out and try to hold it all together...... I could've run away from the change, but I stayed. Because I did, I am only beginning to see those rewards.......

Sometimes you just have to go for it....... and ask yourself, what have you got to lose?

Eternity.

Many people think they want to do "big things." Just the connotation sounds so glamorous and exciting..... at least and until there are demands on time and devotion to details that don't seem to matter. The sacrifice will always cost more than you can afford........

Each core fitness class that comes, I feel I can't take the time required to attend. I inevitably go because I've made the commitment to see this through. I'm told my body is changing even though I don't see a difference. Even when others complain, I remain committed and suck it up. Nothing is too difficult anymore.

My work days at Prudential are filling up, keeping me busier than before. I somehow knew this was going to happen. My late husband's days were full, start to finish; I wondered how he didn't have time to "relax." He never seemed to need to relax or chill but I know I need to be still.

I now am pushing as hard as he was, in a different way...... emotionally and spiritually building. In Cali, life feels very temporal and the eternal is not tangible unless I search it out. Life back East is much different.... and real.

Managing new tenants move in for the beginning of August, as well as other rental demands right now. God help me. I really see how our skills in working together were invaluable for expansion. We both pushed.... or pulled and made each other better, even through the battles we fought with each other and outside of ourselves.

I never knew I could be stretched as far as I've been...........

You may think you want "the world", but you're gonna have to work hard to get it. Destiny sounds divine but you're going to need to dig in and get dirty. It might even take a bit of crazy, not control, to get you where you dream of being.......

Anticipate.

I had the best day EVER, lol. Started very early so I ran on Dunkin half the day! Sorry honey..... I had an iced coffee:D

Breakfast with my Macungie friends and catching up with Office Staff at the former Prudential Patt, White, now Berkshire Hathaway. There is great rewards in being able to return to our hometown with great anticipation and adrenaline....... I've never had such a feeling before in my life.

Big hugs from Logan's Lehigh teammates as they rallied at a friends house for Grass Doubles! Thank you Hillman family; you are always so generous:) And a new opportunity opening up for Chynna coaching, as she and Austin remain in the West for the weekend......

A spontaneous swim party was planned with my nieces and nephews and got my "workout" in for the day, lol:) THIS is the stuff in life that makes me happy....... and I want more of it. Meaningful, purposeful, and not self involved. That is me.

Investing in others. Some will take from me all they can. Others will give back when able, while even more do not have anything left to give. Much like the land in various parts, lives are desolate. Souls are depleted. Spirits drained. This is the economy that I am concerned about. This is the one that needs reviving.

I'm determined to tap into resources we've never seen before........

But first, SPORTSFEST!!!!