Sometimes doing what is necessary for the sake of another has to be one of the toughest things ever undertaken. There's uncertainty in the letting go...... what lies ahead..... and of course, when free will is involved, the greater the risk and impact.................

Perhaps in losing my very personal and protected relationship of 25 years, I was jarred into a new reality.... and remedy for life. I now do not hesitate to embrace the change that needs to happen; I know I am not normal but hopefully helpful:)

As we enter our second school year in Redondo Beach, it's becoming apparent the sacrifices of the first, will prepare for the next. It's already shaping up to be a better year than last for Logan, and it's only the second day. He has learned so much.......... as have I.

I've been told by friends back home I should never play poker..... that's changed:) I know I need to be here to advance in many areas in my life, including business, personal, physical and most of all, mental. When taken out of your comfort zone, accelerated growth can happen, even in your 40's.

After our loss, I went from managing my household for 20+ years, into the workforce, in less than 5 months. Talk about change..... struggle...... and suffering, but I knew the time and opportunity were right. I had to go for it. I was given a position at a Prudential in southeastern PA and my new journey would begin.

There were times when tears were triggered, or emotions expressed in the office; I had so much to figure out and try to hold it all together...... I could've run away from the change, but I stayed. Because I did, I am only beginning to see those rewards.......

Sometimes you just have to go for it....... and ask yourself, what have you got to lose?

Building was my late husband's trade; whatever he did with his hands he endeavored to do it well and with authenticity.....

I went into our relationship with little knowledge of the scope of his skills and talent when we first met at age 17. He was ten years ahead of me in age and life experience and I was the naive, young woman. I don't think either of us realized what "building" a marriage or life together would take......

Demands were placed on his time early on; his skills, knowledge, and energy was always in use, which left me feeling quite alone at times. I think I learned to compensate in some ways; in other ways, I kept hoping it would get better. Sometimes we realize a little too late things we should've done differently......

Had I not believed that my youngest son would have the work ethic and the attitude required to apply himself in our western adventure, I would not be here. I didn't have any second thoughts that he would do his best and make the most of this opportunity. I think we can potentially "build" something here.

I learned the hard way in my married life that creating anything of value requires vision...... whether an actual structure or solid relationship. The spiritual parallels the natural........ In each home we purchased, gutted, renovated and/or built from the ground up. the building process bonded us with a future. Without that future, we fail.

A snowy Valentine's day in 2007 was our "first day" on the job and he was unable to go to work, lol. Our faith never wavered; we knew this move took courage but it was the right one. Seven years later, after opening our joint business DT Group, Inc., I am ready to close it. I must be. The dream has come to an end.......

As our future together was removed, I am developing my own vision now and leaning on a faithful God to accomplish some mighty goals.

I've decided not to settle.