Reflection.

It kind of feels like nothing changes when there is no change in seasons. I wonder if this reflects life for some, who have not "weathered" the harsh elements in life that create depth and desires..........

My youngest is reflecting on his time here as we begin to approach the one year point. There are many things to do here, but much of the same because of the consistent weather. In some ways, it'd be easy to go back home. He misses many, many things, such as the land, the privacy, our deck and pond, the ATV's, airsoft wars, and substantial friendships. 
But most of all....... freedom. There is little here; you can't just pick up and do what you feel like doing. So strange......

In lots of ways, there is no going back... for now. We'll cross that bridge as we approach college. Open to most anything and only God knows where he or we will land. Following Houston, he'll be back to beach training, intensively so and find fun in that.

After laundry and packing, he shot airsoft gun at a target just next to me. We played war with cards and he tried on his new ankle brace, which was very amusing. Austin received his first paycheck from Joe's Crab Shack tonight, while I signed up for a Sallie Mae Loan for him.

I imagine it will be difficult for my daughter to say goodbye to her sweet little cousins, and tough for them as well. She's made the most of her time home, treasuring these moments. We all want to be bi-coastal. I want to make it happen...... we will meet up in Houston tomorrow:)

On this last day of June, I officially finished what I'm calling my first book, which I see as a series of "meditations and inspirations." Next is editing and adding content; then onto making contacts. 
The next adventure is what we're moving towards.

"Sky Full of Stars." Coldplay

Persistence.

Over the course of many years, and particularly as loss hit home hard, I've seen some ugly attributes displayed as a result of frustrated emotions. When operating out of a place of pain, if not careful, human nature needs to find something, or someone, to control.....

Rather than fighting for my "rights", I have chosen to bend until I break, to fall to my knees. I choose to look to the heavens and believe in a Higher Power who takes my matters into His hands....... I would rather allow freedom to find its way......

In the face of many obstacles, it took the persistence of Moses to never give up; to go back to a Pharaoh until he finally granted Moses' request. Moses had superior skill, "outplaying" those in positions of power; it was only a matter of time when the best rose to the top. Because of his actions, a whole nation would find new found freedom.

Logan's ankle is on the mend and he is quickly recovering; he is resilient. He's back on the court, practicing daily with his team for JO's in Houston. The countdown is on. Back, better than ever. There are times to return to the basics..... and it seems he and I are on a parallel path.

The Tough Mudder in Vancouver brought Jordan a challenge he embraced, training and preparing his "mental game" for this feat. I'm hoping he'll share his adventures with you:) Next up, expanding the blog, as I continue to grow my writing ventures.

I find myself in a position of doing whatever needs to be done; in other words, "suck it up and just do it." There's really nothing I can't tackle or haven't faced. There used to be times in my life where I could just say "I don't feel like it", but not anymore. No one else picks up the slack.

Today, I was racking my brain over Austin's college loans, past, present, and future, to figure out what he needs going forward. And of course, there's a deadline of July 15 to have all aid/loans in place. I'm always on a deadline, ha ha. Perhaps that's why I'm such a pusher and persevere:)

Persistence is key. I used to be a quitter; now, I will be a winner.
Goodnight and Grace.

Fast Forward.

Two languages are universally known to man, however, only one has been recognizable..... that is love. The other one kept hidden is loss. No matter where I go, it's only a matter of time before stories are shared. In a new area, whether callously or carefully expressed, the truth is told.

This "land"is a lot of what I expected and equally as much, I am getting an education. There are definite characteristics of SoCal I have seen, now having spent a decent amount of time here. Some portrayals are accurate; some are images, but a lot is in the attitude......

Back East, we jump right in to help, with concern for oneself almost an afterthought. That's how I was raised and our kids were raised. Hope that quality runs deep as they continue to develop their own lives.

My daughter has been told she's not from L.A., based on the first few minutes of talking with others and the depth in which she converses. Since leaving home, I see the desire for independence coming out and appropriately so. Talk of relationships, roommates, rentals..... all natural things dreamed of at a young age. We got here... that was her first step.

For me, It is hard to be alone and wonder how my kids will find their future; I feel so responsible........ we're doing the right things so I know it's just my own concerns:/ A lot has to come together, but more has to happen.

Jordan's job is going well and he's looking into getting a passport for the first time ever. He's on board to do a Tough Mudder in Vancouver with coworkers from his firm, and so he's in training, lol:) Part of the company is based in Vancouver and the connection is there. He continues to search for another room to rent in SF.

When love is lost, or loss hits home, it's as if time slows down and almost stops for a while. I've found this only lasts for a brief time unless I intentionally make time stand still. I wanted to keep things the same, to keep the status quo, but I would betray myself and my prevailing attitude in life......

These days... time is on fast forward.