"Create in me a clean heart.... and Renew a RIGHT spirit within me."
Read moreEverything under the sun.
"Sometimes we think if we don't make a change in life, don't "rock the boat", upset anyone, or take a stand, life will be one of ease. I can almost guarantee that even if you live your life simply existing, you aren't doing yourself any favors...... only hiding."
Read moreMid Life.
As I reconnected with a few friends from my Berkshire Hathaway real estate office in the east, I felt as if I never left. It is quite amazing to be part of a community that cares about each other. This is the life I have come to know........... and need.
I don't think I am having a midlife crisis, but I am simply continuing to "find myself" in my mid 40s. Lol. Everything is new and different. New relationships and reconnecting, challenges and changes; these words are not often equated with midlife, or so I thought.
It's not that I don't long for the way things were, I fight those feelings most everyday. I can get stuck in the mire of self pity with moments of despair, but God has special friends in my life that can help lift me out, pull me forward and is what a meaningful life is all about...........
There has been some anxiety in our return as you can imagine, setting things up, moving things forward, but thankfully, we are underway. If I would let myself think about the "what ifs", I never would have done anything "after death." I am looking to trade anxieties for adventures:)
Last night Logan set foot on a VB court in our home territory for the first time in a week. He returns to his Club Lehigh team with great anticipation to play with the guys he's grown up with, and coaches he's known for several years. His first tournament on the east coast is this weekend:) He's home.........
We've been working, filing, cleaning and unpacking some things, while the west coast kids are now living on their own. I'm again talking late at night, as I was less than 2 years ago, and looking a bit harried for Face Time. So far, so good with Chynna and Austin sharing a place, working, gym time, and planning ahead. Jordan, as always, makes me laugh.........
I think I've returned from L.A. a little bit more open, honest, caring and sharing..... if you can imagine that!
"All things work together for my good."
Love alone is worth the fight.
It may appear to many that I make rash decisions or determinations for the present and future; but it's actually with a lot of contemplation and reflection that my choices are made. I don't, however, fear failure or allow that to prevent me from making new moves. Life is too short...........
"Giving up doesn't mean you're a quitter, it just means whatever you're fighting for is no longer worth the fight." (Macklemore)
Perhaps facing death has taught me more quickly whether or not a person, place, or thing is worth fighting for. After all, I can't do the work for anyone else or stand alongside cheering and caring forever. Any move that is made, or change that occurs has to be a personal choice........
I am less tolerant than I ever used to be, unless I'm connected to kids here and/or choose to be kind to others. Then.... that's a different story:) Logan and two VB friends met to sell Christmas trees to the community as a fundraiser for their HS team, in the 75+ degree weather. That's a feat.
It's nice to be introduced to some really nice guys, who I prefer to hang with more than adults:) I don't mind playing chauffeur for this very reason. Each sold their quota, with only a few doors slammed in their faces. "Where Is The Love?" Black Eyed Peas
Funny how, in this culture obsessed with staying young, I feel like society ages those here; kids and adults included. No one can just "be still" because of constant competition and the costs of living. I am fighting to remain "youthful" and all of us, "innocent."
The days of playing in the yard, hanging with friends, or hosting family for events are cherished memories we have, and want to make more of..................
October has been outrageous. More to come.