Pure love is rare.

I spent a few morning hours doing paperwork, two hours writing my book, and the best hours of the day with my nieces. They somehow find fun in everything they do, even just being together. Their joy inspires me.

I am so privileged to take part in their lives, taking Ava to dance McDonald's and to dance class, along with Olivia. Ava made sure to remind me to watch her and not just talk to Olivia:) 
I live for this stuff. They always ask about when Chynna is coming home, and Ava has decided she will give Jordan 100 hugs and kisses when she's sees him.

Got to spend a little time catching up with their mom, dad, and Baby Dillon too and I always find our commonalities in child rearing and common sense mentalities. I was reminded that family gives to family, or friends, or whoever that may be. For each of us, there may be few or many. Count yourself blessed if you have someone who cares.........

The love chapter is often quoted at weddings and around sentimental events, but it is the daily love in life, faith in action, hands willing to get dirty, that really matters. I can say I have love but without active intent, it is worthless. That is my reality every single day as a widowed woman..........

I know its value and put a lot of weight on its worth. It makes me go out of my way for who, and what, matters. Love causes me to care so much....

Another suddenly has come.

At any given moment in time a suddenly event can change a life. Winning the lottery, losing a life, or living with difficulties each alter how we carry on. Character is tested during the challenges and character is what needs to be witnessed.......

For some, a suddenly is a rare occurrence, if you're able to keep life under control. From the disarray around the world and the distrust in our own country, I would say we are living in a new reality much like my own; one you're never ready for but must adapt too. 
Perhaps we need to get with the times and realize the seasons............

If I believe in my dreams, then loss should not be allowed to take them from me. The suddenly that sent me into a state of grief cannot keep me in a place of death. I want to allow my dreams to grow bigger.... and better than they were before. How to get to the goals is where character and challenges collide.

Some might say if I never went to SoCal, then I would not have quite this quest to reset and readjust in life. It was a cultural experience we were called too, and God only knows the greater reasons as to why. I know you will be hearing some of those reasons in the coming days.........

When the kids and I returned to LA after the holidays at home, it was as if something shifted. After landing on 12/28, Logan and I absolutely knew it was our time to exit two days later. Another suddenly had come upon us...
It was that fast.

Without time for any goodbyes for myself, we boarded a plane and were back in Philly a day and a half later. The season in life had shifted so quickly and I have learned to follow the flow, if at all possible. Most people are not able to do that, nor would they want to,.but I want to be blessed.....

The suddenlies have come for my 3 California kids and Jordan has also announced he will be leaving San Francisco in the coming weeks. Another 2 year period passed. His coming and going is blessed and we look forward to the beginnings of more great things as he follows his adventure forward.......

Sometimes we are too cautious and concerned about making moves that need to happen, or taking chances for fear something will happen. 
Truth is, we only live once on the earth so we might as well make the most of it..... in a meaningful way.

Nite.

Finding your way home.

"I was terrified the first time I left home but I persevered, knowing where home was and that I would always come back to it." (source unknown)

Perseverance. It grows from the testing of my faith; the trials I endure as I allow the process to work in my life. When this work is finished, the Book of James says I can be complete and mature, and lacking nothing. And when you're in the position I am in, this sounds pretty important to attain.

Perhaps God knew I was a quitter early on.... until He got a hold of me when I was 20 years old. Early on, the thing that tested me the most, as many know, was housing. This virtue would take years to develop but is wrapped up in my destiny.......... .

I was like many others and wanted the perfect home to raise a family in, especially having married a man older than I. When Plan B came into place, I naively agreed to the work required to put us in a better position than we had been financially. Little did I know the intense and immense work required to get there............

In order to hang onto what we have attained, I have needed this perseverance because there have been many times I want to throw in the towel. Concede. Admit that I cannot do this. Perhaps there is a Plan B, or just maybe I need a little bit more of my fight back..

My definition of home and what I wanted for the family we created was a place of acceptance. No matter what kind of day each of us had, there would always be a place of comfort awaiting. Comfort does not mean coddling to me, but a space for expansion and growth. Support. Safety.

With this in mind, the kids will be returning home in the next month. ALL of them. I have a feeling we will all enjoy what we've held onto here.... and work hard to keep it.

Updates will follow so watch for more:) Goodnight.

Dreams do not die.

I had to remind myself today that after our loss, I kept saying "things will settle down." My life, schedule, and activity level picked up at a rapid pace and I honestly thought it was only a matter of time til there was calm. I was wrong because I compared my present to the past and it does not fit.

This new pace would prepare me for the future because there was no way I could move at the pace of the past in the present, but expect to be positioned for my future.......... I have learned a key lesson as it relates to the subject of loss........

Upon returning to Pennsylvania, where there is a misconception of having a "slow paced life", I have set new things in motion. Having been coast to coast, I now know for sure we have the kind of life we create. If you can dream it, you should dare to do it.

As I worked at painting my property and cleaning up for five hours today, and have done this many years prior, it felt like a brand new time and season in my life..... FREEDOM 2015. I will not be a slave to the work any longer, but will make it work for me. I have changed.

I returned home with far more ideas than I left with; my creativity has been multiplied in California, as a result of self reliance and making myself put my faith into action. Challenging yourself to do something new can be invigorating and inspiring, even if done through fear and trembling.......

After the steadfast encouragement from my kids and signs abounding around me, I am taking steps to pursue my real estate career. I thought that idea was dead and buried, but it seems it is being resurrected. I am finding other old ideas, creations, and plans are coming back to life. Perhaps our dreams did not die....... but were simply dormant until NOW.

The financial challenges always face me, particularly as I hear of retirement and vacation plans being formed. I am rebuilding. I am restarting. I am refreshed. I am a work of restoration.......

"He who began a good work in me WILL complete it......."

By faith.

Contrary to belief and what you may be seeing, life here can be light hearted. Sometimes we think we have to go elsewhere to escape the mundane, when goodness is right in our midst...... if we can only find a way to build something, more than what we know.........

I began to contemplate a return home months and months ago, and determined to take the steps necessary in that direction. We learned early on the west was a transitory time; for how majestic the mountains are, the mundane is there as well. The movement has to come from within us......

Over the course of this almost two year period of time, I began to see the toll this transition had taken on all of us. It was in June of 2014 I began to contemplate our "exodus". Whenever you feel enslaved to a system or society, God will always be a way of escape......

This would take every ounce of courage I could muster again, as well as my kids. There's a certain pride that comes with being called a "Californian." We had a choice to make. Follow our further calling or protect the pride associated with the statehood.

I believe I will return to the land one day, for a mission, promise and purpose. It's a great place to visit and I'm thankful to hear the kids are doing okay on their own. For now, my path is being laid out for me to follow as a result of obedience. My late husband helped us learn this "by faith" concept.........

We continue in the recruiting process for Logan and college, as he's in his junior year and plans to play volleyball in college. Lately, my nights have consisted of late night coast to coast calls for business, the blog, and for fun just before midnight. It feels longer than 4 weeks that we left them behind...... to obey.

Chynna is receiving lots of affirmation of the job she's doing coaching in Cali. This has been a time of development her knowledge and skills, and reaffirming the call she has on her life.... and there is definitely a difference in the play of the "game."

And who knows where adventure will take us next...........