Speaking my language.

Loss is all around us.... someone lets you down, walks away, or simply takes something special for granted. It is a universal language defined by multiple expressions outside of death. I believe this emptiness, largely ignored by society, can actually bring light and unity desperately needed.......

The irony of the life of Christ was just that; in spite of how much He gave to those He called friends and followers, He was met by doubters of His abilities, questioning His authority, and worst of all, betrayal. But He somehow found satisfaction in simply giving, dividing but unifying, and ultimately giving His life to benefit all others. I am challenged to live in such a way this Easter season............

I am super "busy" at times, just trying to keep, making ends meet, as many are. It is within those confines however, that I want to break through the limitations and find the energy to reach out, touch others, and learn to expand. On this 4th of the month, I reminded the kids of how much their dad learned to enjoy His life, even when all other things were pressing on him. I am learning those same lessons.......

I know the enemy of my soul wants me to feel "impoverished" and in "poverty", as if loss is meant to dictate my destiny. I choose to fight those feelings and not be overcome by them. I hope I inspire someone to do the same. We are meant to live for so much more than we know now.......

I hope to have a movie night with my youngest, as all others are out for the night:) This is really the first time that we are all together since 11/11 and not having to "work through" the loss. We are simply enjoying it....... and appreciating the moments.

"My dreams had to be bigger than my circumstances........" (Viola Davis) in order for me to see where I was, know where I am, to keep my eye on where I am going.

New life and light is coming this Spring.

A window in time.

As I get older and gain more life experience it seems I become a bit more particular with whose company I keep. In years prior, I had a need to please but that too, seems to have died over 3 years ago............... It is okay to be choosy.

Whether economic, of essentials, or everything precious, the "darkness" associated with loss seeks to take up residency in our lives. When this happens, I simply press a little bit more into the heavens....... to hear His plan. The impossible can be provided........... through Light.

I am trusting the Lord on levels I have not had to before. I feel I'm being "led to lead" and L.A. was simply another education for me. Coming back east has been empowering and I needed to be back for several reasons, business and personal. The kids, while there, are preparing for home......

In some ways I may sound naive, but I am quite the contrary. I have an innocence, the kind that the enemy of my soul, has sought to steal from me. The kind of childlike faith that allows me to believe for big things to happen. I have fought to hold onto this courage without compromise.......

Our household is filled with motion and good commotion these days as the Godshalls, Logan, and I are sharing our home. We have supported each other throughout times of despair and discouragement, only to see the light at the end of the tunnel coming.........

Work continues on a rental a tenant abandoned on me, but it is always amazing to see the work of restoration being done..... on more than just the physical home. The potential to see the restoration of lives is at the core of who I am.......... and it has manifested through real estate.

I may have a new venture coming in the industry as I ponder my future, personally and as a business woman. The plan for me is to write and look into publishing in the very near days to come. I have a window of opportunity and a self imposed deadline.........

Take time to nourish your soul with truth and light, as darkness is all around us and seeks to occupy our minds. We cannot afford to sit in confusion. 
Nothing is impossible.

Darkness. Light. Decisions.

Since the beginning of November and the time change, it seems the "darkness" has come so much earlier than I'm ready for. It is dark in California by 4:44 PST and the effects on the body, mind, and spirit are similar to elsewhere in the country, where the weather is colder.

I naively thought there was sun, and "light", and good will that was lasting and year round. Probably a silly thought I know:) But that's kind of been my approach throughout life............. looking for the best in the worst of situations, and believing it will prevail.

When I first met John Hayes it was through texting, lol and an online professional connection. That was 18 months ago, and within a few weeks of meeting, I told him "my kids want to move to California." Without hesitancy, he was supportive. I knew he would help me get where I needed to go....... for this time.

In this process of repurposing my life, I have found very few that would stick as close to me as he has. He is a bright spot in the darkness that often surrounds; he always helps me find a way of escape when needed. Many more plans will be put into place in the coming months......... to move us where we want to be.

Our hot water heater was replaced today, and it's quite different being on the opposite side of a rental property. I can't say I like it......... but it does continue to affirm the quality, care, and importance we have placed on the property we own and personal interaction I provide to tenants.

As I fill the few places that have been empty, I am learning a lot about the business world. Doug and I agreed on many things, and disagreed as well. I realize the time change that has taken place and how very thankful I am for the quality work he has done, and how he prepared for our future.

Decisions are often difficult ones to make, no matter the scale or scope. Practically speaking, it's taken time for some fears to subside, allowing John in closer. Getting close to someone again is a risk I am willing to take, but that's taken time.........

The precious will not be found in the profane...... but in the peace you find.

Goodnight and Love.