Defending the court.

In preparation for Logan's impending driver's exam, he's been practicing parking on occasion. Today, I became a human cone for him; the things I won't do to see him succeed:/ He's given me a few other suggestions that I've nixed, LOL.

Our trip to Hershey last Friday for the High Performance VB tryout has paid off! Logan is 1 of 12 guys chosen to represent the PA region in a national competition in Des Moines, Iowa this summer. He is one of two Liberos chosen, with his teammate Gabe being the other. So thankful.

This will be his first official title as Libero which he plans to pursue in his college aspirations. His defensive skills were honed by his assistant coach in SoCal, the US National Team Libero Alfie Reft. During a time of testing in this recent season, we continue to hold onto redemption in his life.........

There are seasons in life that are just hard sometimes, and as you know, I felt this a lot in the last two years we traveled. I knew there was a reason for the testing however; there was a transition we all had to make. We made the choice to leap; we chose to take the calculated risks. Had I ever thought I made the wrong decision, those choices would all be in vain......

I know we are all very different people in our returning to the east. I know how important connections are, and how many are just waiting and anticipating............... We make all kinds of excuses as to why we don't do something or we fear it, and those mentalities for us are all gone.........

Our transitory move simply made the way for us which took courage, but once we got there, we had to force ourselves to integrate, innovate, and adapt. I have to believe I have options to see those openings. I must know that I need to make the most of opportunities, and if they are not there, pray for them. They will come..... if I obey His will.

I'm working on income tax prep this week with my appointment coming shortly, looking at my financial situation again, and what my options are. Even though I could be very concerned, I want to rise above it all. I do not want to be held captive by situations that can change suddenly........

Much like Logan's position on the volleyball court, there's a defensive stance that must be taken...... and in life.

He always is ready and prepared for whatever comes, whether easy or hard; he's got to get to where he is needed because a team is counting on him. There's got to be an aggressiveness and authority on the court, associated with the position. There cannot be timidity or a lack of confidence because too much is riding on it. He cannot be willing to give up his "territory," but command it. Trust. Talent. Confidence. Support.

And like with most things I speak of associated with loss, it requires making the first "move........"

Accomplished and Adventurous.

Today was a good day with a familiar feel. Familiarity is okay unless I become too "comfortable" and my curiosity diminishes. I'm sure you know by now that is not the case for me grin emoticon

Since our return there is lots of activity, seen and unseen, set in motion. I get things moving. The time spent in SoCal socially starved me for a long season and the kids can identify as well. My curiosity of the culture kept me persevering and cultivating relationships however, because I never give up.

I found that planning lunch dates, coffee shop, computer work, walking on the beach and the whole "scene" is a bit too boring for me. I like to get my hands around something, as well as my brain, and get to work. Being idle is not inspiring.........

After getting great information Tuesday from the DMV in Harrisburg, PA, Logan and I headed to the local office to apply to renew his Pennsylvania driver's permit! Even though he's had a permit out west, nothing showed up in the system. PA however, remembered him and he was granted a renewal after almost 2 years! This means within a short amount of time, he can be a licensed driver:)

He has sacrificed this part of his life to head to SoCal. Little did we know the complicated process and expensive one to apply for a license there. Hindsight often reveals those details. 
I was also more than thrilled to be dealing with common sense people, who gave me accurate information and were on my side. I received HELP rather than hassles, as I have for almost two years. The east has so much going for us............. and I will continue to speak that truth:)

Following picking up his permit, we set foot in our local Home Depot to make a big purchase of flooring for a rental coming open. The tasks that were so tedious with my late husband I am now overseeing..... and I actually felt......... accomplished.

In the morning I spent over 3 hours working on my own at the rental home, cleaning and scrubbing, and doing the things that have made me........ me. 
All the years of doing the same thing, the right thing, faithfully and together, allow me to go it on my own and know what we need. My help remains in place but I am able to fully engage again.........

It took me leaving the familiar to find myself..... and my youngest has too.

Highs and Lows.

SoCal experienced a bit of refreshing rains overnight which has ended a week of cooler temps and overcast skies. No matter where I am in life, I have learned there are times that seem "heavy," and the climate seems to speak to those physical highs and lows.

As we see the snowfall pics posted, it's so crazy how we connect to the change in seasons because there is a refreshing that comes. I see it so clearly. Logan is longing to see snow..... and it's a good thing he and I will be back for the Thanksgiving holiday! He needs his close friends and "real life........"

I've found to get past any type of homesickness requires we be in a new place for minimum of a year. That is sufficient time for an easily adaptable and flexible family to find real friends, feel some joy, and strengthen our resolve........... and perfectly position us.

My daughter has officially been given the job as a beach coach for MS girls, and will begin working with the Pepperdine coach. This man also trains and coaches AVP players Kerri Walsh and April Ross. Crazy stuff. "Your beginnings will seem humble........"

Logan's stitches are out, after 5 days with 5 blue stitches. Email contacts continue with high level schools which brings much needed energy to our resources. Our kitty Schmoopie slept in a box all day and Olive had a big day out with Austin that left her wanting more:) Meowing at the door.....

An "exodus" of sorts has begun since Fall, which I spoke of a few months ago; it's happening in various sectors and societies. I see so many being positioned and repositioned in this season. If change comes, embrace it; don't escape it. The time is now.

Go for it.

Teach me how to pray.

I find myself, on this Monday, asking the One in heaven in whom I trust, just "how to pray." I am a person who believes the best in people of all kinds, and sees the potential in any type of person. However, after being immersed in a culture so contrary to anything good I have ever known, I am asking for heavenly wisdom............. I believe for the best, yet see much of the worst.

When this happens in life, how I choose to handle it, reveals my character, and what is deep down inside my core. Perhaps some say"change your attitude" or it's a "matter of perspective" but I have found there may be a purpose for me to be in the middle of this mayhem...... so I can see what God sees.......... is there redemption I ask ............

Chynna's fever was gone for most of the day, until late afternoon. I'm trusting she will turn around quickly and be able to pursue her activities asap. The realities of paychecks or the lack thereof hit home, in order to make her budget work. I have been busy since leaving my job.........

After having 3 rental homes vacated within a few weeks of each other, I have been able to find tenants for each, with more calls, texts, and emails to return. Thankfully, the demand continues and my support back home from John Hayes and the Godshalls enables me to be here for now........

I'd like to say I have little to no stress with it all, but that's not really true depending on how others try to treat me. I have had hassles since Doug's death, no doubt about it:/ Whether it is here or there, I have chosen not to compromise my heart. "I die daily." 
Connections may get you places; status is sought after in SoCal, but we remain committed.......... to people and hearing His will.

We came here, hoping and wanting to make a difference; I know that is happening...... in the realm we cannot see. In life as we know it everyday, I'm not so sure....... when I know someone is hurting or needs help, I reach out; however, it's as if there is a cavalier attitude I am not acquainted with.......... there's little to no depth to deal with difficulties. I still don't know what to do with this fact, or how to react, 14 months after moving..... it is insanity.

Tonight Logan returns to the court and practice with MB Surf. I will be watching...... and learning. Courage. Strength. Heart. Soul.

"The soul absorbs trauma, but the spirit is able to ascend it." my quote. 
Let's keep rising.

Shifting.

So... I experienced MY first earthquake last night, a 5.3 from what I've heard. I was on the sofa when the shaking began, Austin laying on our bed. It was a weird shifting feeling that lasted a few seconds. The kids and I touched based immediately after to make sure each was okay. New experiences.

The fear felt after loss can be completely consuming.... the loss of a loved one, mobility, loss of income, a love, or personal freedom. Any and all provide the excuse we look for to remain content and comfortable, or at the minimum depressed. I have chosen to do the opposite which has facilitated an ability to overcome........

I'm spending a lot of time on the road these days driving, more than ever before if that was possible! Today was a "normal" Saturday for me spent cleaning our little apartment and running Logan to and fro. Practice for beach tourney tomorrow. Looks like a move is in our future as we plan to change apartments when the lease is up:/

I can't hold onto anything too tightly; home is where my heart is and who I love spending time with. With that in mind I'm mentally preparing for the housing change this summer. Chynna would like to move out on her own so a lot of pieces have to come together.

Tonight I reminded my son that he can talk to me about anything, even if uncomfortable, I realized afresh this week that his dad isn't here to do the guy talks like most kids have available. I never want Logan to feel slighted in that way, but it is part of loss.

Jordan got his first passport ever which was pretty exciting to me:) Who knows how far he will go.......... He found a room in the Mission District of SF for the month of April, and then we'll see where he lands.

Another day in so called paradise.......