Commit and stick with.

Being a few days into this new year is often a make or break time that determines the level of commitment we maintain. Decisions made in weeks prior are put to the test and fortitude challenged. It is easy to talk about something but another to actually follow through.

I think I have been put through most every test possible in that regard. Having been in the L.A. scene, we very quickly learned a person's word means very little, except for a special few. I did not realize what life would look like on a daily basis without........ commitment.

My late husband seemed to drill into all of our heads and hearts, the importance of holding true to your word, After living in another locale, my kids and I have adopted the same mindset. It has become so very important that I do what I say I am going to do........ and hope the same of others.

In his transition week before school, Logan has gotten to work with my brother in law on a rental home I have. He's gone from a CA beach guy to rugged East Coaster again:) It's good to see him working with his hands and using his strength not only to compete. This is a welcome change......

So much feels as if it has been taken from me and I guess I am on my own "recovery mission." Most recently, several tenants think they can stiff me on monies I'm owed which is honestly appalling. I have never had such dealings and it makes me wonder if I can keep doing this.........

I would never give up but rather look at these times in life as a change, often precipitated by a series of events. Decisions we make, whether to work out, shape up, share things, or organize our lives, are often a result of dissatisfaction. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

Sticking to what I know to be true, decisions that may determine destinies, and taking the steps towards freedom in this new year, will help keep me aligned with refinement.

Refine - "improve by making small changes, or removing unwanted elements from life."

Sitting among the ashes.

I've been reading about the story of a man who lived long ago; from all accounts, he was successful in every way. He was the "greatest man" in his town; his family got along and all was well, until one day when something out of the ordinary came against him....... twice.

Not only did he suffer great personal loss, but his life was also touched with physical ailments. It seemed that even this righteous man was allowed to discover and uncover what it meant to "suffer". If he was such a good person, how could the God he knew of, allow this to happen......

He sat scraping his wounds, listening to so called friends give their opinions as to why such tragedy would strike his life. As he sat among the ashes, he came to the conclusion that if he could accept the good he believe came from God, why could he not accept the trouble that came as well..... This is the life of Job.

With the passing of our loved one, there are times we would feel justified in treating people poorly, lashing out in anger, and even making excuses for bad behavior. I have had more headaches with my rentals than ever before in our history together. I want to make sense of it, but can't......

As I reflect upon the last few years we've had, I think about this same subject. Particularly in the last 17 months........ when it seems as if all hell has been stirred up and I think life should be a bit easier if I try to live a "good life."

There were two tests Job went through and he came through each with questions and queries, but conquering. He kept his integrity intact because he held onto his beliefs and the relationship(s) that were real to him................

Here in LA, those closest to us know the compromises we have shaken off time and again, as part of our "testing......." Countless come to find fame and fortune, but soon betray the beliefs once held dear. It is heartbreaking how lives are changed, hearts are hardened so easily. It doesn't have to happen.

You gotta know what's real to recognize it. Goodnight.

Hang onto Hope.

Beliefs take a hit when your world is rocked and something so out of the ordinary is thrown your way. Belief in ourselves, in humanity, and in a "Higher Power" are shaken down to the very core of one's existence....... perhaps that is why some say they have none.....

With no hope, there is nothing invested. Nothing is lost. In my opinion, that is not a life lived.

The kids and I came to this land of idolized images and perceptions perpetrated, with great expectations and good intentions. Had our belief system hinged on man's ways and what money secures, we would be sunk, let down left and right......... however,

"Hope is the anchor for our souls which is firm and secure....."

As a woman and mom, I have always tried to offer the best of my beliefs to my kids, not cramming in through control, but modeling by my lifestyle. Here, the climate is not conducive even to the basics; there then, is no foundation to build from. Nothing is firm. Nothing is sound. The ground shifts. There is no progression.

When loss hits, there's a chance to rebuild......... your beliefs, the basics.

There have been tough lessons for my 20 year old to learn lately......... issues of incompetency in every arena; hoping for help but finding there is no one to care in this SoCal climate. Self preservation prevails......... it is The Beautiful Letdown.

My belief remains that each lesson learned and opportunity taken is meant to add to the quality of my life, in one way or another. Hope is a hot commodity; easily taken or traded away; hope needs to be protected. For some, it is all that is left to build upon........

Hope is a belief in the better.

"Not a word fell to the ground...."

After using earbuds for my iPhone that had wires fraying and padded ends that had fallen off on my last flight home, I decided it was time for a new pair. I had an iPhone upgrade in November which still hasn't happened, so I wait. Some silly things delayed are so small and simple.....

We often think of the many changes we want or need to make in life and become overwhelmed as to where to start. I have finally come to realize that taking a small step towards where I want to be is okay...... It is, after all, the many steps in the right direction that take me where I want to go....

Being on the west coast, in the midst of the "sunny California lifestyle" and all that it encompasses, has made many things much clearer to each of us. This was a journey of countless small steps that have led to life changing experiences we would not trade, in spite of the hardship and hurdles.

Prior to my recent flight back to LA, I had purchased the same style earbuds I had before. The sound quality was much better than my old pair and I realized what I was missing for so long..... I had learned to deal with it. I allowed myself to make adjustments to live with less than the best........

They worked fine for the last few days until I found myself frustrated with the same situation where the earbuds fell out. The sound was not clear in my ears; they did not fit me. Again, I struggled to "hear" like I wanted to. I wondered why I was dealing with this same issue again.

While out gift shopping today I found the pair I wanted; the kind that I could receive from without struggling to hear and not lose the "sound." The price was right and more importantly, they fit ME. I didn't have to feel bad for needing or wanting to what works for me.........

On another 4th of the month, I am finding myself even more..... through loss. As I find more of myself, more of my God, I have more to give to others. I needed to hear for myself, to understand why things happened the way they did. I have to come to grips in my understanding to guide my kids through........ and I am here to help you.......

While I certainly don't have all the answers, I continue to listen intently....